10 Aussie Artists I Wouldn’t Trade Places With If You Paid Me

by lkatulka on February 7th, 2008

It probably comes as no surprise to you that the passionate writers in the b5media music channel would secretly love to trade places with our musical idols. I’m completely tone deaf, but give me a SingStar and I can easily pretend I’m not. Of course we all know being a big star isn’t all glitz and glamour. There are plenty of musicians I wouldn’t trade places with as a bet. This post is dedicated to them.

Image details: National Television Awards 2007 - Arrivals served by picapp.com

Dannii Minogue
Fancy being “the other Minogue.” She’s lived in Kylie’s shadow all her life, with inferior pop songs, uglier boyfriends, and dodgier plastic surgery. Even the nice judge gigs on Australia’s Got Talent and the British X Factor couldn’t make the public like her!

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Natalie Gauci
Beautiful girl, talented girl, but I wouldn’t be Natalie for quids. It seems like the poor thing won Idol just as everyone was getting over it. It’s a real shame because despite her brilliance, she’s always going to be that girl that won a reality TV show and didn’t sell a lot of albums.

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Casey Donovan
While we’re talking of Australian Idol winners, I can’t go past Casey Donavan. Despite winning the competition she really didn’t have it easy, did she? While the media fawned all over Anthony Callea, the only comments about Casey were snarky remarks about her weight! Being a teenager’s hard enough - I’m glad I haven’t gone through what Casey has!

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Wolfmother
Yes they won a Grammy, managed to tour the world, and their fans love them. But I reckon all that adulation must be pretty hollow when you know your music’s unoriginal. Surely they realise bands like Led Zep and Black Sabbath did exactly what they’re doing now, and they did it a zillion times better. That’s got to burn.

Image details: Arrivals At The Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards 2007 served by picapp.com

The Young Divas
They remain tight-lipped about it, but can you imagine how it must feel to be a Young Diva now? Your mate Ricki-Lee leaves you in the lurch and scores international record deals while you’re still singing disco covers and playing RSLs. And we all know Ricki-Lee was always the hot one.

Image details: 2005 TV Week Logie Awards - Arrivals served by picapp.com

Nikki Webster
Try as she might, Nikki Webster will always be that annoying kid from the Olympic Games opening ceremony. She can strip off for FHM and she can vamp it up in Rent but it’s never going to give her an ounce of real cred.

Image details: 2007 ARIA Awards - Awards Room served by picapp.com

Shannon Birchall and Michael Barker
Who? Exactly. You might know Shannon and Michael better as “the other guys” from the John Butler Trio. These lads are incredibly talented in their own right, but do you think anyone ever asks them for their autographs? It’s got to suck to be in one of the hottest bands in the country but be virtually invisible.

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Delta Goodrem
Now like a whole lot of Australians, I love Delta. But I’d never want to trade places with her. I just couldn’t deal with the pressure of being Australia’s sweetheart. I truly believe she’s as pure as she seems, but if it were me I’d be dying for a boozy night out.

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Mahalia Barnes
Mahalia’s another one of the super talented ladies on my list. But she’s here because I’ve gone to see Mahalia with my husband and some male friends. And I know exactly how much time men spend appreciating her music and how much time men spend drooling over her ample bosom. I’ve got to tell you, a lot more of the latter goes on.

Image details: Big Day Out Auckland served by picapp.com

Paul Kelly
I’d love to have his talent, but I’m far too vain to ever want to trade places with him. As brilliant as he is, Paul’s a really ugly guy. And let’s face it, if you’re too ugly for groupies why would you want to be a musician?